Boundaries are important, we repeat they are important! Without them, all kinds of chaos will be unleashed. Setting personal boundaries is incredibly important to your self-health and if you say sorry to people way too many times, it’s likely you’re having trouble building them. Don’t give up just yet, we got your back with our simple yet effective tips.
#1 Know your limits
First of all, you gotta know where to draw your line. What bothers you physically, emotionally and mentally? Start by thinking about what you can tolerate and what makes you uncomfortable and go on from there. If that’s still too vague for you, you can go a bit more specific with rating these problems from 1 to 10. If it's a 6 and above, it aint worth putting up with and time to roll up your sleeves and say no.
#2 Baby steps
When you know what your limits are don’t just go out there and start screaming at people to listen, you’ll just come off as an a-hole. Start small with a tiny thing you can accomplish like communicating to a friend that you’re too busy to pick up their phone calls during work. It takes practice to be able to do something right and that’s the same with expressing your thoughts so don’t go with the biggest problem you have on your list. Work your way from the bottom up.
"It is the small steps which bring you satisfaction at the end of the day." ~ Rafael Nadal
#3 Don’t back down
Okay so now that you’re setting boundaries around you like a boss, you have to realize that some people require a more direct approach than others. You might have to muster up some courage and putt your foot down against people that are generally harder to deal with. After that, it’s not just rainbows and unicorns, you need to stick by your limits and not back down. People tend to label others that can’t be assertive as a pushover and that is the last thing we want.
#4 Be self-aware
Now, if you do seem to be slipping and letting people cross the line you’ve drawn, it’s time to take a step back and ask yourself why? Is it because of feelings of doubt within yourself or is it from outside influence? Not everyone is going to be happy with your whole newfound sense of respect for your own space. It’s important to remember that the journey of setting personal boundaries is for you and no one else. You just do you and unless you hurt someone else you’re good.
"Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions" ~ Will Smith
#5 Get support
If none of these methods work then simply get help from others. You can go to a good friend, a parent or support groups that will teach you how to set the boundaries you need to be happy and healthy. You can also find so many self-help books online or articles on the psychology that goes behind making these decisions and how to stick to them in detail. We all know that everything you need is on the internet and you might as well make use of the tech-savvy part of you to help yourself.
With all that being said, when you feel like someone is expecting too much from you or taking advantage of you in any way, don’t feel any hesitation to take control of the situation and change it. If you want to know more about relationships in general watch WTF episode 11 and hear what they have to say.