Feeling tense and nervous is something that everyone goes through at some point in their life and no matter how many times you’ve gone through the same situation say like an interview, you would still feel a little tensed about starting again.
While being nervous is always seen as a negative response, it is a type of reflex that can help us to become more alert with our surrounding. In Harvard Business School professor Amy Cuddy’s book “Presence”, she claims nervousness can be a sign of passion.
"The people who I find most compelling are not the ones who come in super-energetic. They're actually quiet and sometimes they're nervous. You can be nervous; that's okay. In fact, it sometimes signals that this is a serious thing and you really care about it."
-Amy Cuddy on the entrepreneurs on Shark Tank
We can’t help but to agree with her. If anything, being nervous signals that whatever you are doing at the moment will bring great value to you. The key thing to remember is not to let that nervousness linger on. How to calm down your nerves you ask? We have some tips that you can utilise. Read on.
This type of breathing helps to strengthen your diaphragm which is a muscle that assists you in breathing. Yes, you need all the help that you can get to ensure that you breathe properly okay. Breathing the right way is the basis of every meditation exercises. What you need to do is inhale through your nose for about two seconds until your stomach expand and move outward while your chest remains relatively still. Then, purse your lips and press gently on your stomach, and exhale slowly for about two seconds. Do this for a few times for the best results.
Let’s say you have a presentation coming up. It’s best that you can make sure you have at least role played out the whole presentation once to ensure that you know the flow of how you want to talk to your audience. It’s easy to think that you have everything at the back of your mind, but you wouldn’t know what you missed out until you actually play the situation out. Only then you can anticipate the problems that you may face or the questions that may rise during the presentation.
But be wary not to remember your script word by word (unless you’re reading out for a TV show audition) because you will for sure freak out when you forget one word from your memorised script. Rather, just memorise the pointers.
Another tip that you may want to use whenever you feel nervous is pretend whoever you’re about to meet are your friends. This will help break the wall between you and whoever you have to deal with. Often times your mind will create a backstory of this person as someone who is intimidating and are out to eat you alive, but truth be told they are probably just as nervous as you even if they are your superiors. When you remind yourself that you dealing with just another fellow human being, you would feel less scared or shy to speak up.
When you are nervous, your mind tend to wander off into worst-case scenario mode. Somehow a simple interview could end up in blood shed, flames and someone dying in your mind. LOL. The first step to not fall into a rabbit hole of over thinking is to stop yourself from engaging the first bad thought in your mind.
Whenever you feel like you’re about to slip into that wretched abyss of self-doubt, think about how far you have come and all the achievements that you have earned and remind yourself how that achievement can be emulated in your current situation as well. Envision the meeting, interview or presentation or date to be a success and it will be a success, it’s the law of attraction okay.
Everyone has been very well acquainted with that fear of having so many eyes on you during a presentation. It could affect even those who are naturally extroverted to begin with. With you as the focus of attention, it’s easy to think everyone is judging your every move. From the way you talk, walk, fix your posture or the way you click next on your slides is somehow put under a microscope. Truth be told, everyone is caught in their own web of problems too. Their mind is filled with the number of responsibilities that they are trying to carry out, that is no way they want to sweat over petty and minuscule things.
We know, it’s easier said than done. But if you exercise the effort to make things better, the situation will eventually become better. Try not to feel like things are hopeless, and if you start to feel that way, talk to those who are close to you. Vent out.
Don’t marinate those bad thoughts because it will exhaust your mind. Mental health matters guysss and Counselling Psychologist, Johana Johari is giving her take on the topic in this episode of Yay or Nay!